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Showing posts from May, 2012

Monty Python circa 1975

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I watch a lot of old news clips and read through tons of archived newspapers (I love the ads!) and found this gem from 1975. First of all, the intro with its syrupy sweet music is like some stoned composer's idea of what America should be singing in their shower every morning after five cups of Folgers. Then you have the perky little redhead who is a perfect foil for the Monty Python Troupe (sans master Cleese). They all but take over the ABC studios, and by the ending credits--with that same syrupy music, although slowed down to a hypnotic drugged pace--are tearing apart the set with occasional assaults to that perky redhead. One last shot focuses in on a maniacal Terry Jones, mustache askew. I'd love to see the show in its entirerty, commercial breaks and all.

My favorite part though, is Peter Jennings. He looks none too happy to be part of the fun with his serious reports on all that war-stuff business going on in Saigon. Wawawa. Oh, and I love the little time breaks. Why c…

Time and Patience

Like many emerging writers, I thought the mere act of writing a book would bring me cash flow and semi-fame. I figured most people never finish writing theirs, and those that did would probably never submit. I'd have it made by finishing mine, giving a good, clean edit and sending it off to the magic world of agents. They'd read the first couple of pages and go, "WOW!" and contact me immediately with a big contract. Sheesh. How wrong was I?

Writing a book is hard, but there are loads of people out there with not only one, but multiple manuscripts waiting for representation. Finding an agent is one of the most difficult things one can do on this earth, but I've heard being on submission is even worse. And money, if any, isn't going to start pouring in. It may trickle, it may spurt, but it isn't going to be like an avalanche of green. The publishing industry is in a weird state presently, and money is following along in cautious step.

And patience. I wrote …

Another Monday

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I couldn't sleep last night worrying if I was too tough yesterday, but honestly, I do feel like a person has to say no sometimes. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all just live together without ever having to say 'no' or 'you can't?' I mean, I preach peace and love, but even I have my limits. It probably stems from my childhood where I was the most polite, quiet, rule-abiding child known to man. So, pretty much any kid acting bad gets on my nerves. And kids who act REALLY bad turn me into the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld. "No soup for you!"

Coco has figured out how to get out of the box, even after I tried to make the opening higher with taped-on panels. So now . . . kittens are running wild!!! It's never going to be enough for Coco. No wall, no door, no gates, no windows. She wants out, and out is anything that she's not in.

Grape plays kind of rough with her brood. It's quite scary to see. She grabs them with her paws, and wraps her teeth …

Not Mister Rogers' Neighborhood

On Saturdays the neighbor kids ring the bell after lunch and ask for my kids to come over. After they leave I get to work cleaning and vacuuming because Julia can be extremely messy with all her art stuff and little cooking experiments. By the time I go over to tell them to come home, I have the place looking spectacular.

The neighbor kids like to come over too when I pick the kids up. It's like a reciprocation, and I have to agree that it's a nice trade for being able to get the house clean for a few minutes. 
But as previously stated, there have been problems with kids taking food without permission. First of all, no one is starved at home, and second, I love to feed kids but after a while I need some 'thank yous' or I get annoyed. There has been A LOT of food taking and no 'thank yous' lately, so much that I have started hiding food. The thing is, if you've ever given a kid ice cream, and they ask for more and start screaming when you tell them no, you h…

The Capture

It was early summer and early in the afternoon. My sister sat talking on the phone with an ex-friend, Mom was at work, and I stood at the kitchen counter making little pizzas out of English Muffins. A rift had started between Cathy and Becky, a girl who lived down the road a few blocks. Becky had borrowed Cathy's roller-skates, the nice ones Mom had bought from a garage sale. She'd yet to return them and was now claiming amnesia over their existence.
While spreading pizza sauce on a toasted English Muffin, I listened as Cathy argued over and over for the girl to just return her skates so she could forget the whole thing and get back to her summer. The voice in the receiver came out with screeches and angry denials. 
I had always wondered about that Becky. She was kind of bossy and mean, always saying things with an authority that didn't seem genuine. And sure, she could come over and play with our stuff whenever she wanted, but the second we went to her house she'd sn…

Jealousy

The beautiful, talented Jessica Bell wrote about jealousy on her blogyesterday, as she's had some comments lately that were less than kind. I wanted to touch on the subject just for a little bit because I think all us creative types have been, or have been creators of, this ugly green monster called jealousy. So, what I want to say is that, first of all, allowing yourself to feel jealous over someone else's success is probably one of the most unhealthy things you can do to yourself, both emotionally and physically. Second of all, it makes the success that will eventually be yours (when it's your time), less than divine.

I learned this because, back when I started to pursue music and was trying to spread my wings so-to-speak, I met a young woman who had a lot of problems. I tried to help her out, and she in turn, seemed to become indebted to me. What I didn't see was that she was modeling herself after my ambitions of music and, like the movie All About Eve, would try t…

Death and Doom and Kittens

Last week the world breathed a sigh of relief when an extended Mayan calendar was found, this time with no hint of our demise in just a few short months. But the same day I read that, someone on Facebook posted a story saying a Mayan skull had fallen down in a laboratory, meaning we were all going to die again. As long as my book comes out before the Apocalypse, I'm good.

School's almost out, although Liam has a social group two mornings a week in June, and Julia has summer reading classes four days a week. So, I still have to get them up and ready just the same as always. Bummer. I was kind of looking forward to taking it easy for awhile. Darn education!!! Just kidding, I'm glad they are getting this educational advantage. We can still go to the pool and library and park in the afternoon. 
Grape's babies are now four weeks old. They look like real kittens; all fluffy and meowing. Coco has already tried to get out of the box, so I taped in a cardboard panel. But as she…

Tanned, Toned and Totally Faking It

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One of my fellow writers at WiDO has just published her debut novel TANNED, TONED AND TOTALLY FAKING IT, a story about a beautiful young college student who is thrust into fame and fortune too fast. She has a multitude of problems under the surface—a cheating ex-boyfriend, crazy manager—and must find a way to sort everything out all while being photographed by the paparazzi, and swathed by screaming fans. You can purchase the book at Amazon now in paperback or for Kindle.

I asked Whitney a few questions the other day and she gave great answers. So, if you have a little time, help a new writer out and head on over to her fabulous blog for a little fun.

Thank you Witney for taking the time out to do this! And much success on your book TANNED, TONED AND TOTALLY FAKING IT. I have my copy and can't wait to read it!

Beautiful Mothers

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Happy Mother's Day to all you mommies out there! I got up early so that ruins breakfast in bed for me. Anyway, if I let Julia cook she'd mix up a huge bowl of flour/salt/sugar/eggs and then throw in some rose petals and coffee grounds. So, yeah, best that I not encourage the kids to cook!
What are some of your favorite moments as a mother, or that you member spending with your mother?  I always loved watching my mom garden. I loved the sight of her bent over the tall rows of corn or dill with the evening sun coming down. I also loved watching her roll out cookie or pie dough on the kitchen table.  Simple things, but they left a deep impression. I'd always sneak a tiny piece and she'd say I was going to get worms from uncooked dough. That must have been from her days of using beef lard instead of Crisco, and I'm sure her mother said the same thing to her!  
Have a beautiful day!

Oh Shazbot!

Are you lonely? Sick of your iPod? Well, I have just the thing for you: a very human looking robot that can sing, kick a ball (hmmm . . .) and even talk to you. Have you seen this? She looks so real-ish. All you men out there who are sick of us nagging women following you around with our hair in ponytails and no makeup on, this is your lucky day. Don't worry about making a male robot for us though, we're too busy cleaning up your crap. I'm sure there's the same unbalance in the system as there is in real life, and while you get a cute, adoring little chick, we'll get a guy with leaking oil and a bad tick. Yours will sing pretty songs and pour your beer, ours will have major malfunction in the worst of moments. That's okay, I'm not bitter.

Anyway, Robots in Motion, that's what they're called. Start saving.

The Elements

There was a huge storm the other night, and when I say huge I mean 'tornado a few blocks away' huge. Yeah. It sucked back up into the sky, thank goodness, but the storm that came afterwards was where the real actions was at. Hail, tons of it, rain, rain and more rain, wind, you name it. Had to carry the kittens downstairs when the sirens went off. But . . . I'm—we're—still here. Mwahahahahaha. It was pretty much like the video I posted yesterday.

The only thing worse than coming close to a Dorothy and Toto event is the door knockers that show up on the following days. Roofers. No, I don't want a new roof. I just had the one replaced in the fall. Yes, I know it hailed. My answer is still no. NO.

Now it's sunny and gorgeous.

And how about you? How's the weather in your neck of the woods (I stole that from a famous morning talk show)?

Bill Viola - The Raft - 2004

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Here is a film recently shown at the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art in Kansas City. It goes on forever, but that's pretty much the point.


Fan Friction

Okay, so I read the first few pages of FIFTY SHADES OF GREY just to see what all the fuss was about. I wasn't thrilled with the writing. To be honest, I don't know how it got past an editor. Yes, I know the history of it being fan fiction, but I still feel like it could have been polished before being released with a major publisher. And just to let you know, I didn't go into it looking for mistakes. But it was just very sloppy, and that's all I'll say.

Anyway, there's a story today about some libraries down in Florida refusing to carry the book because of its erotic content. My problem with this is, there are already books on the shelves that are just as erotic, if not more, only without all the media attention to make them stand out. Funny enough, there used to be this older guy that came in to the library who would stand in the back corner panting over all these types of books. Ick. He'd come up to the checkout desk later with stacks, and Iaintkiddingyou…

Shirley MaClaine

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You know, I'd like to see a pole dancer try these moves!

Stressful Job

I used to work retail every evening and weekend of my life, then I worked catalog, and then I worked at a library which was my favorite job until I had the boss from hell. You know those people, they never actually work, they just sit around drinking diet soda and thinking up ways to make your life a living hell. They make friends with the head honchos and pitch their slimy ideas so that you—swamp moss—go home every night depressed and clutching books such as "Macrame Nooses for Dummies" or "How to Meditate Yourself into a Better Job" or "Chicken Soup for the Suicidal Soul."

This boss I had, she would roll her eyes anytime a library patron asked for help. Checking out books, handling books, answering phones—it was all beneath her. And so we were beneath her as well, because it was our destiny to do all that awful stuff of work and human relations. She disliked our very existence. Her door remained closed most hours of the day. One in a while I'd see h…
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Puppy Dog Tails

What was your very first pet? Cat, dog, hamster, bird, turtle? Or were you not allowed to have any? Mine was Butch. I have no idea what his breed might have been, but he was fairly large with a tan coat and a big snout. I remember being taken to the open field behind our block where a crowd of people had gathered. Up on a slight hill were puppies and children, the mixture running together in a heavenly sort of dreamish joy. Next thing I knew I was up there on that hill, and puppies were licking my face and we were all—kids and puppies—running and rolling together. What is a parent to do when a child falls in love with a pet? God opened her palm and handed my siblings and I a clearance to happiness. Then we were off to our home, usually a dark and miserable palce. We spent every living moment immersed in the glow of water-mushed Purina, that red-checkered brand with the chuck wagon and chasing mutt. Puppy breath, like sweet elixir, woke us each morning. But soon came nibbles, then bite…